How Long Should You Casually Date Someone?
by John Santana
Casual Relationship is in the trend right now and it’s for all the right reasons!
So you met that sizzling guy at the bar or that sexy bombshell and boom you made out in the car?
The sex was so good that you decided to enter into a Casual Relationship…
Now, the question of how long this casual mess should last always crosses your mind.
How will you know it’s time to leave this partner or get into an exclusive relationship with them?
Does it have any time duration of a few weeks, months, or a year?
The answer is – there is NO TIME FRAME!
Every relationship has its own values and emotions.
The longevity of a causal relationship depends on which floor the escalator of your relationship has reached.
So, if you are stressed thinking how should you carry on with this relationship, you are at the right place!
The various stages of a Causal Relationship
There are many stages that your relationship reaches with time. Having a clear look at it can help you out to find the right solution.
1. When the relationship is nothing but Casual and it already feels like years
Your relationship has always been casual since it started and remains the same till date.
Even after you have been with them for months now, or slept with them for a good number of times in a short span, the two of you continue to stay in the same boxes.
It’s almost like a stagnant lake that refuses to move.
A Causal Relationship is where you enjoy the free good sex and the company of a person you like without the need to be present for them, answer them, or make any efforts.
Without a doubt, it is great for the people who are busy with their lives and careers which doesn’t give them the time to carry the baggage of a serious relationship.
They got to have good sex and go for dinner when no one is there to give them company.
But what if you are not enjoying the sex anymore?
This happens when the boredom of having sex with the same person again and again arises.
It is quite common to think that such relationships hold the capacity to cultivate into love and the partners live happily ever after sleeping a couple of times together.
But if even that hasn’t happened to you yet, and it’s been a long time you have been seeing this person as a casual partner, then it’s time for you to stop.
The solution?
There’s plenty of fish in the river.
How to be sure you are at this Stage?
After a certain period of time, the sex no longer gives you the pleasure it bought before.
You will start feeling bored.
The signs that this relationship has become dead will shout on your face.
You will not feel the sparks anymore and it will be nothing but routine work to sleep with the same person again and again who is not even emotionally invested in you.
Such phases can make couples think that sex no longer excites them.
But it will give you some ease to know that this perception is wrong.
Moving on from this causal relationship and finding another person who will excite you and keep you hooked will put an end to your confusion.
The main agenda of this relationship must be that it should excite you and meet the levels of pleasure you crave for.
It will be a good time to talk to your partner and walk out of this relationship which is helping you in no way.
2. When you and your Partner already start behaving like Couples
Your Relationship is meant to be casual but you start calling each other “Boo” and start sharing your deepest secrets without thinking for a second?
It really feels as if you are already in a Committed or Exclusive Relationship. It’s just that you guys have not discussed it.
It’s common in these cases to simply move from a certain relationship phase to another without even uttering the words that need to be said for the confirmation.
The Solution?
You need to be sure and talk it out with your partner.
Now is the time to go official and make your partner meet your parents.
How to be sure you are at this Stage?
You will find that both of you are taking mutually making the efforts to check on each other and it’s not always for the sex.
Instead, it’s for just knowing about how their day went and if they are all right.
Apart from that, you and your partner make sure to see each other almost every time possible and if it’s not, you make it possible.
The guy will travel long distances just to get a glimpse of his partner and the girl will yearn to have a burger with him after a long day at work.
If you guys are seeing each other despite the long-distance and their presence feels like home, then it’s surely the time to take the next steps.
The part where you can be totally convinced that this is not just a casual relationship anymore will be when both of you and his friends know about each other and seem to like you two together.
Your partner will be the first person you call when you face trouble and your name is the first to cross their minds when they want to share some good news.
When you see these signs, the time period for which you have been dating each other doesn’t count. It’s time to take the Causal Relationship into an Exclusive one.
3. Your Causal Relationship Partner has started taking things seriously.
Imagine the sheer horror when your partner from a Casual Relationship starts acting like your spouse….
Grotesque!!
Is the same happening to you right now? Then dear reader, Run! Run away from this relationship!
You chose a Casual Relationship for a reason. The responsibilities and commitments of a committed relationship are too much for you to carry on in order to enjoy your youth as a free bird.
Taking permission from a partner before going to a friend’s night out or informing them about your whereabouts with every passing minute is not your thing.
You can’t say the flowery sentences or get to plan a huge surprise just to apologize for a trivial matter on which they fought for.
But now, the partner you chose to be in a Causal Relationship seems to fall in love with you…
Now he/she is troubling you like anything and you feel trapped in a situation for which you didn’t even sign up.
If things have started to go around you and making you feel like you are in a Committed Relationship and you are not enjoying even a bit of it, and just struggling to cope up with their tantrum phases,
The solution?
It’s time to Move On!
How to be sure you are at this Stage?
In the first place, you chose to be in a Casual Relationship with them because you don’t see that person as someone you would want to spend your life with.
You have other emotional needs that you want your partner to fulfil and this person doesn’t fit the bill. So, if they want to carry things further, you should take the matter in your own hands and call it quits.
In some instances, the Relationship becomes very clingy. Have you ever found your partner flooding your notification bar every day like an attention-seeking maniac? Like why the hell they want to talk to you every day and know about how your day went?
The main thing which can piss you off the most is when they show signs of jealousy to your friends and colleagues from the opposite sex. They know what they are up to, still act like you are betraying them in a Casual Relationship.
If you are asked questions like “Is he/she just your friend?” frequently in all the wrong manners and notice their need to know more than required about your personal life, then the foundation on which your Casual Relationship was based on is murdered.
You feel as if you are under the constant pressure of some kind of ownership. Of course, you decided the rules before entering into this relationship and it was that everything will be taken casually.
Now if they impose their rights upon you as if you are their own, and that it’s your responsibility to remain loyal, it’s the perfect time to reconsider your decision.
Here’s something for you to be sure: Signs that he wants to date you exclusively
4. You develop One-sided feelings for the partner.
The worst thing in the casual dating scenario can be to develop one-sided affection for someone who doesn’t feel the same way for you.
It’s unpleasant but understandable to fall in love with someone after spending a couple of nights together.
After all, we are human beings and our hormones can fool us in the worst ways possible.
The solution?
If you are at this stage, hurting yourself even further will not take you anywhere.
If you really like or love that person, then you have to stop forcing yourself to play it cool.
You should muster the courage and have the guts to be direct and convey your true feelings to the person.
After you have done your job, it’s up to your partner to decide where things will go on after this.
Whatever the answer is, it’s a win-win for you.
Either you will get the person you love to be with you as an exclusive partner, or they will end the things for the better.
After all, spending your nights sleeping with them and days dreaming about the one day when they will feel the same way for you will not take you anywhere but enhance your misery.
You will be trapped inside a loophole of feelings and it can be a traumatic experience for you.
The best way is to talk it out and let them decide.
How to be sure you are at this Stage?
Even after setting the rules and revising it over and over again in your mind, you just can’t stop thinking about the person who is your partner in a causal relationship.
You will feel the need to see them every day and the urge to say the three words even if it’s just a few weeks since you’ve started seeing each other and there are no such advances from the other side.
The thing that can hurt the most is that they are dating several other people at the same time.
Takeaway!
A casual relationship can be fun but a tricky game to play with. You never know when it can take the wrong turn and when you are being late in taking the right side.
It’s better to know which phase you are into and end or convert the relationship into an exclusive one at the right time.
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